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What to say to a new mum (and what not to)!
Today I’m thrilled to have blogger, crafter and mum Megan from Seek My Scribbles guest-posting at The Paperdashery today (take a look at her gorgeous baby scrapbook)!
Megan has some super advice about what to say to a new mum and (more importantly), what NOT to say. If you’re struggling with what to write in a #MamaMail note to struggling new mama, this is definitely worth a read!
Wondering what to say to a new mum (and what not to)..?
Before I had my little boy, I always thought I’d want to share him with the rest of the world right away and welcome visitors with open arms… Fast forward to the first few days after I’d given birth and I wanted nothing more than to stay in my pyjamas and cuddle him in bed all day.
The trouble with visitors is that they often say the wrong things to new mamas, despite meaning well. And whilst coping with the mixture of hormones and exhaustion, little comments (no matter how innocently made) can really get to a new mama.
With this in mind, I thought I’d share five things NOT to say to a new mum and five things you SHOULD say instead…
What NOT to say to a new mama:
- “How much sleep have you had?”
Chances are she’s had 0 hours sleep. She’s possibly even into minus figures. - “You look exhausted”
See point one. She is exhausted. - “My advice is…”
Unless the new mum has asked for advice, don’t offer your two cents. She’s probably heard it a million times before during her pregnancy! - “I thought I’d just pop in…”
This is a big no no. Visits in the days after a new mum has given birth are strictly by invite only. If your name’s not down, you’re not coming in. - “Sleep when the baby sleeps”…
JUST DON’T EVEN GO THERE.
Now we’re all on the same page, let’s have a look at some of things you should say to a new mama instead…
What you SHOULD say to a new mama:
- “Can I bring you dinner?”
Say this to a new mama and she’ll love you forever. The same goes for those that offer to make a cup of tea when they’re visiting, rather than expecting the new mama to play host. - “I’ll hold the little one while you have half an hour”
Ask a new mum if you can do anything for her and she’ll probably say no but offer to hold the baby while she naps / takes a bath / has a little ‘me time’. I’m sure she’ll take you up on the offer and thank her lucky stars she’s got you. - “He / She is beautiful and looks just like you!”
New mamas will never get fed up of hearing people compliment their pride and joy. You’ll get bonus points if you say the baby looks just like his / her mama. - “I understand how you’re feeling”
The newborn days are an emotional roller-coaster for new mamas. If you’ve given birth yourself, let her know that it’s perfectly normal and that you felt the same too. It’ll be reassuring knowing that she’s not alone in feeling how she does. - “You’ve got this”
All mamas need a little reassurance from time to time and this is especially true for those that have just given birth. Those three words can mean such a lot and give a new mama a real confidence boost.
#MamaMail
If you want to be a really helpful, why not tell a new mama about #MamaMail? It’s a fantastic project all about connecting mamas, spreading positivity and sharing experiences. I’m a #MamaMail sender and really enjoyed putting together a little care package for another mummy. It’s amazing what a difference a small gesture and a few kind words can make.
A little more about Megan from Seek My Scribbles…
I’m Megan, a 25 year old, first time mum to my gorgeous little boy Arthur. I currently work as a freelance writer, running a lifestyle and parenting blog called Seek My Scribbles in my spare time.
Over the years Seek My Scribbles has covered many genres, including fashion and beauty but there’s nothing like having a baby to totally change your priorities and interests! Seek My Scribbles is where I like to share snippets of my life and experiences, useful product reviews and tips for other new mamas. I’ve made some great friends through blogging and it’s something that continues to enrich my life on a daily basis!
Seek My Scribbles is a UK lifestyle and parenting blog, covering everything from Megan’s love for cruelty-free beauty to her thoughts and discoveries as a new mum. You can also find Megan over on Twitter and Instagram.
*photo credit to Megan at Seek My Scribbles
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